PK [2014]

The dinner I had the previous night was a torture. It was so awkward talking with my own mother. Well, the truth is I am a junk eater and had wasted all of my pocket money eating roadside chaat. So, begging for more money (just to get my first day first show ticket) was a serious crime as per the laws drafted by my Mommy. The living room was so quite that I could hear my own jaw moving, each bite clearly defined. "This is one of the tasty dish I ever had so far!", I said in an attempt to break the silence. "What's so tasty in these Dum Aaloos? Anyways Thanks.", she said and gave a smile which quite didn't reach my eyes. Later, when I reached by the sink, I stuck to my plan to get the money from her wallet. "I'll help you arrange the wet dishes", I said. Arranging the plates from the water and later bravely added,"Mommy, can I get some cash?" And guess what, she gave me a stiff look (as expected) staring at me as if I was her enemy. I guess I couldn't blame her now atleast. When you are on a vacation at home, not even partying with friends or going for a trip anywhere with someone it is pretty much cynical, isn't it? But thankfully Mommy mentioned New Year's Party arrangements which was a  perfect lie. I added some more dialogues to make it sound more believable.

Okay so lets move away from this drunken story of mine. The most anticipated movie of this year "PK" is not what you'll expect before entering the talkies. We all agree the fact that Rajkumar Hirani is one of the greatest of all directors and also he is the paragon of the most entertaining directors. "Munnabhai MBBS", "Lage Raho Munnabhai" and "3 Idiots" are no doubt included on the lists of the 'most thought-provoking films' and they do deserve. All of these were strategically planned movies and earned a lot at the BO. But "PK" is something noticeably different from others where virtuoso Hirani teams up with his writer Abhijat Joshi and bombs on religious matters that are considered superior on this land meticulously.

Aamir Khan (Called as PK in the film isn't his real name. Public names him Peekay) referring to a drunken man who walks, talks strangely and questions people behaving as seven year old kid. Khan lands from a spaceship, completely nude, somewhere in a desert in Rajasthan where a villager snatches his remote control (kind of a locket which he wears as a necklace) and sells it (around 40k) to a godman Saurabh Shukla (Swami Nithyananda). Khan needs this remote control in order to return to his planet and so he sets out on a journey which results in to bring about a small change in our thinking and religious beliefs.

Two of those funniest sequences were firstly, the 'Dancing Car' scene. Oh that was just hilarious! I still don't believe that who will like to have car sex somewhere far away in a desert? PK identifies the dancing car (so called by him) and steals their clothes for his use. Second one is when Boman Irani (News channel anchor) refuses to broadcast religion-based material on his channel because he was once butt-stabbed by a Trishul printing three marks on his ass. Such scenes depicting any religious content were smoothly delivered and Hirani keeps PK interacting with our mind in the most gentle way. Khan carrying the Pooja Thaali in a Church, Wine bottles in a Dargah are simply funny and in a balanced proportion instead of offensive. Anushka is bubbly and cute. Her hairstyle isn't that bad. Sushant Singh Rajput holds a short role of a Pakistani boy who falls in love with the former Indian.

The movie falls just after the interval where the climax becomes clearly predictable. Also, all the songs are simply annoying and irritating. A year ago, I watched BUZZ FEED VIDEOS on YouTube (they haven't paid me to promote them) for a continuous three hour stretch, and I would rather see it again than to sit and listen these BHEST OF TIME songs.

Surely, PK is not like 3 Idiots or the Munnabhai Series but Hirani still has a better story to tell. It has some beautiful lovable characters and of course Aamir who will win your heart guaranteed! Hope this cute story helps to redefine India's mindset on religious beliefs and amends our society socially.

Kick [2014]

Earlier this week I along with some of my Chaddi buddies went for 'Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya'. The act of starring in my phone while replying someone and realize how little I text them distracted their attention. So, this time FILMY KHOPDI planned to join his brother to grab a KICK!

A lot of selfies were captured. Some were weird. Okay, all were weird! My brother still thinks that I can't photograph and handing me his camera is just wasting his SD card storage. Bro, your jokes are still 'UnJhellebal'. He seriously bombed my head badly!

We entered the Multiplex and some soothing music hit my ears which brought me back to normal. Someone who isn't a Sallu fan and who tolerantly liked Dabangg 2 and disappointing Jai Ho, I had just one thought roaming in my head that how much upbeat Kick be? Fortunately, Kick is just BANG BANG!

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The movie starts with Shaina (Jacqueline Fernandez) getting dressed and sets out to find her love. It reminded me of a contraceptive control ad at the very beginning. Her father chooses Inspector Himanshu Tyagi (Randeep Hooda) to marry Shaina and fixes a date in a train. There Shaina introduces Devi Lal Singh (Salman), in her talk, as his Ex boyfriend and tells him about his selfish and moronic pranks to have a Kick. The film is stretched of two and a half hour which makes it a bit tiring but you won't get your butts off until the end. Later Himanshu introduces Devil (Salman again) who is a pain in ass for the former, tells her about his robberies and unsuccessful chases. The backstory for Salman playing Devil is what pleased me.

Luckily, Randeep Hooda and Nawazuddin Siddique have bagged some awesome roles to play and they truly were outstanding. The action scenes aren't bragged just for the sake of doing it.

Nawazuddin Siddique absolutely destroys the villain competition this year. Nawazuddin acts out as Joker from Dark Knight and must say he is among the best villains I have seen in Bollywood till date. Nawazuddin arrives too late in the film but immediately absorbs you in with his awesome award-snagging opening dialogue delivery.

Nawaz: “Goro ne China ka maal chipka diya, paanch minute nahi tik paye."

This dialogue was just hilarious!

About the music, its good and pleasing. Jasmine Sandlas's 'Yaar Na Miley' is playful. Nargis Fakhri still needs dance tuitions. Jhumme ki Raat is a chartbuster. Jacqueline is jaw-droppingly superb on her dance steps.

A well-bred, full of thrills, cheerful yet suprisingly emotional movie which makes you feel care for Salman.

Watch it to know why.

Ek Villain [2014]

IMAGINE "You enter your house and find your loved one harshly slaughtered?" How terrifying it will be!

"Ek Villain" is a remake of the Korean classic "I saw the Devil", the difference being that the original gives more attention to the brutality and not on the Pyaar-Mohabbatein drama.

Director Mohit Suri (Murder 2, Aashiqui 2, Awarapan) undoubtedly good at making crime cinema, but it'd more enjoyable to see him away from his comfort zone. Suri, along with his writers, portrays Sidharth Malhotra (Guru) as a Gunda, and adds a different shade to the character as that of in the Korean classic. Also the lovestory of Aisha (Shraddha Kapoor) and Guru runs the film longer. The reason behind portraying the love story was that the audience should realize Sidharth's a.k.a Guru's fall and pains.

Kamaal R Khan plays the role as a friend of the psychotic character Rakesh (Riteish Deshmukh) who feels so happy when Rakesh ruins KRK's slave wife. *Whenever KRK showed up, I had a bad feeling of slaughtering the casting crew! Man, I had to grumble so as to avoid my brain fag.* KRK, who works a Midnight Bar, jokes terrible Non-Veg pranks at times. The '2 rupees people' and 'Mu bandh karna padega (showing some vulgar moves) were his magnificent dialogues I have ever seen at the Hindi cinema! Kidding.

A scene comes when Guru goes to kill his Boss Caesar where the protagonist reminded me of my childhood videogames. Sidharth is too bad when it comes to Action. Furthermore, he leaves all his Gundagiri for his love, cures her illness (I don't remember the name of that disease yet?) and later marries her. Searches for a job and later when Aisha gets killed, he spends his time for revenge.

Somewhere in between, Shraddha Kapoor dances awkwardly when the old people get married. Also she jokes horrible 7th grade jokes which will bombard your head. "EK JOKE BOLU?" Oh, what a jerk!

Riteish Deshmukh (Rakesh) is outstanding. He openly admits himself as a character full of beastliness. I still wonder why people were applauding when he said,"Sorry Madam, main aapko shikaayat ka koi mauka aane nahi dunga." The film turned out to be a comedy for a short time. Madman! He kills ladies to release his stress and later keeps on talking with these dead corpses. *Creepy Guy*

The songs are placed where they need to be. *I still keep wondering "What does Galliyan mean?"*

Overall, a good thriller. The climax would not meet your expectations. Go watch only if you can digest intense violence. Definitely not everyone's cup of tea.

Humshakals [2014]

"KHAO KHUJAO, BATTI BUJAAO"

(This review contains explicit language and a small conversation with my fellow colleague)

Few months ago, I, along with my sister, had visited a dentist who for an unending two hours plucked out a tooth and then drilled a huge gap in my mouth. The soreness was extreme and unbearable but what kept me going was the thought that the sore feeling was purposeful. 'Humshakals' is like that despairing and mournful day, else it doesn’t have any sense as well as understanding.

*Instead of wasting my vacations I decided to take this risk and so, we both, I along with a friend of mine (who was really having a wonderful day), got two entries for Humshakals. We entered the theatre and the movie started paying honor to Jim Carrey and Kishore Kumar, making us feel guilty of buying tickets at the very first moment.*

'Ashok' (Saif Ali) and his Chaddi Buddy 'Kumar' (Riteish Deshmukh) are introduced at first. Ashok is a millionaire and is all set to start his career as a stand-up comedian (Saif Ali needs to join 'Kapil Sharma Tutorials' for this). While Ram Kapoor plays the bad guy 'Mamaji' (alternately 'Kans') who stirves to rob Ashok's property by proving the latter as a mentally unstable man.

*Well, here, "I" was just striving to see a smile on her face (who still was having a wonderful day) and, later then I too forcefully wore a smile even when my mind made no sense of what I saw.*

Okay, so continuing, Ashok and Kumar both are admitted at a mental asylum where they meet their Humshakals with same name. This is the scene where all the shit happens and Sajid just stomps crap through our visualization and wipe his feet on the human desire to be entertained.

*If she (who had never had such a day before) had recorded all of my moaning, murmuring, eye-rolling throughout this movie and brought it up in a single tape, it could be sold as more funnier than the whole of Humshakals. On the grounds that it would be short, lively, much more catchy and easy-going.*

Writers, Sajid Khan (Director) himself along with Robin Bhatt and Akarsh Khurana team up to irritate you and you can see how much do they care about the audience's threshold level of hair-tearing and discomfort. Bipasha Basu, Esha Gupta and Tamannaah Bhatia were just to attract the spectators. About the Music, as far I know, 'Caller Tune' is a chartbuster (I personally HATE this song). Himesh Reshammiya still Sucks! He is Awful.

Concluding, Humshakals is a comedy of things that aren't funny at all. Possibly, you should see it as an example of the low-lying slope that you get for low-pass filters while tracing a Bode sketch. *That was an Engineering term, sorry for that*


THE VERDICT

Mistakes in Timepass [2014]

This is not a review of the Marathi film Timepass [2014]. A review website (not a sponsor) supplied me with a DvdRip of this flick this Sunday. Basically a Rom-Com blended with some sorrowful and weepy scenes Timepass is a movie worth watching!
Though the movie is nothing new, Duniyadari released some months ago too was of the same genre. It has some fresh dialogues which got very much applauded by the Marathi audience. Alas! Found a small mistake you won't get anywhere on the Internet.
Here's it. During the climax scene you'll find Dagdu (Prathmesh Parab) laughing during a sad downcast act. Rest, the cinema is worth your money. It's a Total Timepass!